


More Than Anything

by uaevuon



Category: No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: Demisexuality, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 20:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3992557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uaevuon/pseuds/uaevuon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If someone wanted to become more honest, I’d tell them that they should start by deciding what they want most, more than anything else, and then making it happen. Whether it’s something to say or do, whatever it is you want most, do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Anything

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write PWP. Ever. Of course the first one I'd write is for one of my most plot-heavy ships. 
> 
> I just want them to be happy, damn it.

There is one bed in Shion’s apartment, a fold-out couch, and maybe he could have asked for more but it didn’t feel right after all the destruction for which he’d been at least partially responsible. Even if he is also partially responsible for rebuilding. It was a revolution, after all. There is only one bed, and while it is more than enough for him, perhaps even too much, with Nezumi on the other half staring at him it’s not enough. Shion’s eyelids flutter, his hair barely covering his nearly-shut eyes. 

“I know you’re awake,” Nezumi says. “I lived with you for how long? I know when you’re asleep and when you’re not.”

Shion sighs. “It’s only afternoon. Why would I be asleep?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. You’re the one pretending.”

 _I’m only pretending not to look at you_ , Shion thinks. When did this happen? When did he become the one hiding and Nezumi the one staring so openly? So he says it. “I’m only pretending not to look at you.”

Nezumi blinks. “How do you do that?”

“What?”

“How are you so honest?”

He’s not, not really; he’s just naive, and Shion is starting to accept that about himself. But he understands what Nezumi means; it’s the bluntness, it’s putting his heart on his sleeve, and the ability to challenge Nezumi to do the same. “I don’t know. I’ve always been like this. I expect for most people it would take a lot of practice.”

“Practice,” Nezumi repeats, and Shion is once again struck by how close they are and what that means after their kisses and the months of separation since then. Nezumi has only been back for a little over a week and he’s already fit himself into nearly every part of Shion’s life. 

Including, of course, his bed. 

“Mhm.” Shion doesn’t know what he really expects from this conversation but he knows what he _hopes_ for. It’s the same thing he hopes for every time they have on of their many intense, serious conversations, the ones with sustained eye contact and lowered voices and slowly moving closer and closer until one of them gets a little rush of fear -- _what if he doesn’t feel the same anymore?_ \-- and turns away. 

“What would someone practice in order to be like you?” Nezumi asks, and Shion wants to believe it’s an innocent question but he knows Nezumi well enough to know that it isn’t. Not when Nezumi turns fully towards him, laying on his side instead of his back. They’re closer now. 

“I’d say they should practice just… doing things they want to do. Not restraining yourself is a good place to start, I think.” He isn’t sure if he wants Nezumi to hear a general or specific “yourself” in that. He’s positive Nezumi hears both. “If someone wanted to become more honest, I’d tell them that they should start by deciding what they want most, more than anything else, and then making it happen. Whether it’s something to say or do, whatever it is you want most, do it.”

“Whatever I want most?”

Shion swallows, because his throat feels dry but there is suddenly too much saliva in his mouth. “Yes. What is it you want more than anything right now?”

As soon as Nezumi moves, Shion feels all the tension of the past week and a half, and of the past eight months, and of the past five years, drain out of him. Nezumi’s lips are on his, and it’s nothing like he remembered but it still feels right. 

Nezumi only lingers for a moment, the span of what would have been a heartbeat had Shion’s not skipped one. 

“That’s what you wanted most?” Shion asks. It’s a good question. He can think of many things he’d understand if Nezumi wanted more, but then again he has many things he probably should want more, but he can’t say he actually does want them any more than he wants Nezumi. He’d been going about it slowly, though. 

Nezumi nods as best as he can while laying sideways on the lumpy pull-out bed. “Yes.” His voice is rough. Shion wonders how long he’s been waiting for that kiss. 

“And now? What do you want most now?”

Nezumi kisses him again, deeper now, with a hand on the side of his face to hold him there now that he knows Shion wants him. When he pulls back, Shion only says “And now?” and he dives right back in, a desperate, needy noise escaping one or possibly both of them. There are hands in Shion’s clothes, Nezumi’s hands, curling into his collar and the hem of his shirt. 

Their lips still pressed lightly together, Shion takes a deep breath and wills his heart to slow down only because the speed is starting to constrict his breath. “Now?” he whispers, and he hopes the way he shifts his leg back is enough of an invitation. 

The hand once curled in his collar grips his shoulder and pushes him flat onto his back. Nezumi swings a leg over him and hovers, on his hands and knees, and he leans down to almost crush their lips together. These kisses are nothing, nothing at _all_ like the ones from eight months ago; they’re hard and long and Shion wonders if lips can bruise when Nezumi bites his lower lip. 

He grabs Nezumi’s hips; he’s done with waiting for Nezumi to get closer a step at a time. If Nezumi had any reservations he wouldn’t budge but at the light squeeze of Shion’s fingers and the downward pressure he stretches his legs out and carefully slots his hips against Shion’s bony hips and rolls them just a bit. 

“Have you done this before?” Shion asks, and there’s no question what he means by “this”, not when there’s two growing erections pressed together between them through thick denim. 

“No,” Nezumi admits without hesitation. “Never. You?”

Shion almost laughs. “No. I never wanted to with anyone but you.” It’s a weight off his shoulders to finally say it so he may as well toss out the other weight. “I never loved anyone like I love you.” 

“Oh.” Nezumi moves again, and he’s shaking a little. “I-I’m the same.”

Some part of Shion had expected him to say it outright, explicitly, like everyone did in the books scattered around them, the ones he’d rescued from the rubble of where they used to live in West Block before the Hunt, but he supposed that was a bit of wishful thinking. Besides, Nezumi _had_ said it, just in a different way. 

“Good.” Shion lifts his hips to meet Nezumi’s next motion. “Ugh. Do you have…?” Eight months was long enough for Shion to learn what was on the other end of that question. 

Nezumi laughs. “It’s your house.”

“Right.” He thinks about it. What does he have? Did someone, maybe one of the friends he had made during clean-up, in a kind expression of encouragement, give him the necessary materials as a housewarming gift? He certainly hadn’t worked up the courage to go ordering it from another city himself, and he had no idea where to find it in the mess of what had once been No. 6.

He vaguely remembers Inukashi shoving a bag at him, face furiously red, and saying he’d “need this” when Nezumi came back. Shion wondered where the kid had gotten it; surely Inukashi was too young to be buying such things. 

“B-bathroom,” Shion stammers out, and Nezumi climbs off him. “Under the sink. There’s a bag?” He doesn’t know if he’d ever taken it out of the bag. Probably not; he’d been too embarrassed. 

Nezumi is back in an instant; he checks the date on the box of condoms, because that was what they’d always told him to do in the West Block where you never really knew how long ago something should have gone out of use. 

“We don’t need those,” Shion murmurs. 

“What?”

“I scanned you the first day you were here. You’re clean. I am too. We don’t need them.”

Nezumi is surprised by that; even if he’s never been with anyone, the thought that anything could come out of West Block and be _clean_ just somehow doesn’t sit right in his brain. But he knows Shion is telling the truth, so he drops the box on the floor. “Waste of 200, then.” 

“I’ll donate them,” Shion says, only half in his right mind, as Nezumi strips and straddles him again, and tugs at his pants zipper. 

Shion doesn’t wait; he grasps Nezumi’s cock as soon as he is within reach, and Nezumi immediately stops his movements. “Shion.”

Shion is circumcised, but Nezumi isn’t and so he doesn’t really know for sure what he’s supposed to do, but he thinks he’s supposed to move the foreskin over the tip. He tries it, and Nezumi bites his lip, sucks in a harsh breath. “This is what you want, right?” Shion asks. 

Nezumi looks him right in the eye. “More than anything.” He tries to ignore Shion’s hand on him long enough to get him out of his clothes, but gives up when Shion’s shirt is open and his pants and underwear are around his knees. He reaches back into the bag for the lube, checks for an expiration date -- there isn’t one --, and opens it while Shion kicks his pants the rest of the way off. 

Nezumi raises himself up on his knees, taking his weight off Shion, and he spreads a bit of lube around on his fingers to warm it. Shion is just about to ask how Nezumi intends to prepare him in this position when Nezumi reaches between his own legs and, closing his eyes, pushes a slick finger slowly into his own backside. 

“Oh,” Shion breathed. This isn’t how he’d expected it to go. He can’t exactly say he minds, though. How could he mind? when Nezumi is fingering himself before him, making all sorts of soft noises of pleasure, his mouth slightly open as he breathes hard. He’s beautiful. 

A drop of lube slides off Nezumi’s hand and lands on Shion’s cock; he shivers and takes hold of it, stroking slowly while he watches Nezumi rock against his own hand. 

Shion sits up, careful not to shift too much and disturb Nezumi. He wants to watch him, yes, but more than that he wants to touch him, to get close and kiss him and smell the arousal swirling in the air around him. Nezumi’s eyes are still closed, and though he’s taller than Shion by quite a bit more than usual the way he’s presenting himself, straddling Shion on his knees, his head is bowed just enough that Shion can strain a little and kiss him gently. Nezumi startles at first but then the hand that had dangled limp at his side comes up to stroke Shion’s face and hold him close, and he bends over a little more so Shion doesn’t have to stretch as much. 

The angle of Nezumi’s hips is no longer working for him, but that’s fine, because Shion has already coated his fingers in lube and is slipping them into Nezumi’s hole to fill where Nezumi’s own fingers could no longer comfortably reach. He wipes his fingers in Shion’s shirt that’s still hanging off his shoulders, and then tangles them in Shion’s hair. He sighs when Shion’s fingers clumsily spread to stretch him and he slips a third in, pushing in almost deep enough but still just not quite there. 

For all that Shion is tickling his insides it’s their lips locked together that Nezumi finds most pleasurable, and he assumes from the way Shion has stopped stroking his own cock that Shion feels the same. Nezumi’s lips tingle, and every time their tongues brush together it feels like an electric shock runs down his back and Shion shivers. 

They’re both unpracticed and maybe it shouldn’t feel this good; it’s awkward, for sure, the way Nezumi’s elbows get in the way of Shion’s arms wrapped around him, the way Shion can’t seem to stop his teeth from catching on Nezumi’s lips and tongue, the way Nezumi will jerk his hips and Shion’s fingers will slip out of him with a wet pop that leaves them both red in the face. Nezumi’s knees are starting to ache. Shion’s not sure how long he’s supposed to continue stretching Nezumi with his fingers, and in the end it’s Nezumi’s impatience (because he doesn’t know either) that decides it. He takes Shion’s wrist and slowly removes Shion’s fingers from his hole, and when he clenches around the emptiness it feels strange in a way he can’t describe. 

It’s awkward, but they barely notice. 

“What position?” Nezumi asks. 

“I don’t care,” Shion responds, breathless. “I just want to be able to see your face.”

Nezumi buries said face in Shion’s shoulder. He breathes in deeply, savours Shion’s scent. “Yeah.” Even though his legs hurt with how long he’s strained them in this position, he remains straddling Shion, who is using a little more lube to slick his cock. “This will be fine,” Nezumi decides aloud. He takes hold of Shion’s cock as soon as it is released and shifts himself so that he can sink down onto it; the head slides against his hole a few times before it finally goes in, and as soon as it does Nezumi ducks his head again to kiss Shion. 

He doesn’t move at all at first, instead losing himself in Shion’s kisses. Shion doesn’t have any more method than he did at their first kiss a year ago, and just like back then he’s best at a dry, gentle press of lips; Nezumi takes over as soon as their lips part, guiding Shion through nips at lips and the playful press and twirl of tongues that he learned in the years since his first meeting with Shion, from other teenagers who, like him, had someone they were trying to forget. 

It’s only when the strain in Nezumi’s legs strengthens to a burn that he releases Shion’s lips and, locking eyes with him, slowly lowers himself down onto Shion’s cock. 

Shion’s hot breaths speed up, blowing humidity into Nezumi’s face, making his hair flutter. Nezumi reaches behind his head and takes the band out of his hair, letting it fall freely over his shoulders and upper back. He doesn’t know if Shion will want to play with it, but if he ends up on his back Nezumi thinks it might be more comfortable if he doesn’t have a stiff lump of hair digging into his skull. 

Neither of them moves at first. Nezumi is getting used to the strange, kind of invasive feeling of a cock inside him, and remembering how to breathe; Shion is trembling with the effort of not lifting his hips off the bed and snapping them up, burying himself into Nezumi. 

“Nezumi,” he moans. “Nezumi. _Nezumi_.”

“I know. Just- just…” Nezumi tries to tell Shion to wait, but then he’s ready and he leans forward, bracing his hands against Shion’s chest, and lifts his hips. 

“Ohh…”

Nezumi drops back down, and both he and Shion shout. 

“T-too much,” Shion stammers. He’s touched himself more times than he’s really willing to admit in the time that Nezumi has been away but it doesn’t even compare to this feeling. He doesn’t know if it’s the feeling of something on his cock that isn’t his own hand, or if it’s just that it’s Nezumi, but the sensations are so much stronger than anything he’s felt before and he can’t keep his brain up to speed with his body because every time Nezumi moves or squeezes around him it’s like Shion isn’t even able to think at all. 

Nezumi feels it too. He’s never thought of himself as much of a masochist, not really, but there’s a little pain every time Shion’s cock fills him and somehow it only adds to the pleasurable feelings -- “pleasurable” is too weak of a word, isn’t it? It’s not just good. It takes the breath out of him with every motion. It’s incredible. He’s never cared about sex before but he wants to do this with Shion again and again. And the hardest thing for him to comprehend is that he knows it gets even _better_ \--

Shion can’t keep still anymore. He thrusts his hips up to meet Nezumi’s, and his timing is a little off but Nezumi screams in surprise and comes. 

“That was…” Nezumi breathes hard, barely able to speak. Shion moves again, and Nezumi twitches and a little more fluid drips from his cock. “That was it.” He nearly collapses against Shion and kisses him. “You still haven’t…”

Shion rolls them over, and it’s a very awkward roll and he just barely manages to not slip out of Nezumi. Nezumi’s cum is still on Shion’s belly and it rubs between them and feels kind of gross but they ignore it. Shion thrusts into Nezumi and Nezumi can’t help but scream again because _this_ is too much. 

“Stop!” Nezumi shouts, and Shion does though it takes him a great effort. “I can’t, I just came, I can’t!” He dimly realises how ridiculous that sounds, because he’s never said he can’t do something in his life, and it embarrasses him to no end. 

Shion starts to pull out and Nezumi realises he’s not ready to feel empty again either. He digs his heels into Shion’s back and lifts his hips until Shion is fully back inside him and it’s _definitely_ too much but it’s better than letting him leave so soon. 

“Nezumi?” Shion asks. He’s panting and he stares at Nezumi so confused that he almost feels bad for him. 

“Do it. I changed my mind. Do it.”

“Are you sure?” Shion’s thighs tremble. 

“ _Yes_ , I’m sure.” 

Shion doesn’t let him get used to it, just starts thrusting into him hard and fast, and it wouldn’t make a difference even if he did start slow. Nezumi throws his head back and doesn’t bother to hold back the loud moans that tear from his throat. Shion comes in moments, almost choking on a half-formed word that gets stuck in his throat; he gasps, and Nezumi opens his eyes because it sounds like Shion is going to cry and he did _not_ sign up for that. Shion’s mouth is hanging open, and he looks completely shocked as he spills inside Nezumi, but he doesn’t cry. 

When Shion stops shaking, Nezumi pulls him down for another kiss. Everything feels strange, especially since Shion is still inside him along with the sticky, warm cum that’s starting to leak out around his cock, but they ignore it. 

“How was that?” Shion whispers. He should know, given Nezumi’s enthusiasm; still, he can’t help but feel a little self-doubt. 

“Better than I even hoped.” 

“And it was what you wanted?”

Nezumi laughs. He kisses Shion again as an answer.


End file.
